In middle and high school, I occasionally would find myself in circumstances that necessitated a private visit with my teacher or even school Principal, because mischief. I recall the immediate feeling of anxiety, deference, and shame having to face the consequences of my misbehavior in front of the adult figure of authority du jour. A similar, if not worse, feeling occurred when I crossed paths with my mom or dad.

In the corporate world, we’ve all experienced the equivalent of being called to the Principal’s office. Although we’re older and no longer in school, that anxiety doesn’t abate or subside, but may actually increase depending on your position and organization. Whether missing a deadline, making a mistake, or experiencing a performance review, sitting across the desk from your manager to discuss negative feedback is not the most enjoyable meeting you want to attend.

The hierarchical nature of business necessitates a subordinate-superior dynamic to some degree. That said, it doesn’t justify disrespectful, inappropriate, or abusive behavior, regardless of rank.

Unfortunately, many professionals regress to the mindset of our childhood years when confronted with potential conflict or negative circumstances in the workplace, particularly when it involves someone of authority and superior rank.

Professional behavior is a two-way street and no matter your rank, you deserve to be treated fairly and respectfully, regardless of the transgression (perceived or real). It’s the right thing to expect and reciprocate, if not the law in many cases.

The next time you are faced with a potentially abusive situation, don’t succumb to your childhood instincts. Protect yourself (and your peers) and have a zero-tolerance policy against any form of disrespectful or abusive behavior/actions.

To steel yourself for any potentially unhealthy circumstances, establish your professional boundaries ahead of time, before any negative situation actually occurs. Mentally prepare yourself to quickly recognize when these boundaries are crossed and how you will appropriately respond. If you wait until something actually happens, your instincts will likely kick in and default to sub-optimal reactions, including deference or acceptance of inappropriate or abusive behavior.

I’ve had the benefit of reporting to, working with, and interviewing numerous executives. My experience has taught me many things, including that these professionals are like everyone else in many ways. There are good and bad people around us in all forms. Know when and how to respond to the latter. Corporate rank never justifies terrible behavior. Be safe and healthy out there.

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