I once pitched for a SVP, Technology executive search with an established growth company in Seattle. Like many potential relationships, we had explored engaging several times in the past but the timing was just never right for various reasons. For the first time, I was invited to meet with the Head of HR, COO, and CEO/founder to discuss my qualifications, process, and differentiators. I was in a bake-off with a couple other firms and based on prior interactions, was not too invested one way or the other, although engaging with the prospective client was welcomed.

After we met I did not hear from the search committee again and I assumed I was out of the running. But a couple days before I was scheduled to depart for a vacation to Europe I was asked to meet with the committee a second time, on the day of my departure. The window was small but we were able to meet the morning before my flight.

In the meeting, the founder and CEO did most of the talking and there was an air of earnestness that I had not sensed before. He shared the history of the engineering team, how the culture and leadership had stagnated, productivity was low, and suspected it was time for a change in order to right the ship and position the organization for success moving forward.

And then the CEO expressed concern, not about my qualifications or process, but the legitimacy of making a leadership change and appropriate timing to do so. He wondered out loud about the impact on the engineering team and the rest of the organization if he were to replace the incumbent leader. Would the VP leave immediately, could the Chief Architect they had identified as the interim leader be successful in his place, would key members of the engineering team take flight and leave the org vulnerable in the process?

As he spoke, I could see the conflict and anxiety on his face, as well as the rest of the committee. Clearly, these were concerns that had likely paralyzed him and his leadership team from making a much-needed change for several months, if not years.

As he ended his soliloquy, the CEO looked at me directly and asked, “Do you think we should make this change now?”

In this moment, it would have been justifiable and easy to provide a self-serving answer and simply say, “yes.” As a technology refugee and professional of over 26 years, I’ve been an individual contributor, manager, executive, and now recruiter. I’ve seen and experienced enough to know the circumstances shared by the CEO were not unique to his company and it was clear they needed an immediate change in leadership, regardless of which firm conducted the search.

At the risk of being trite, I offered the following in the most genuine and authentic way, only because it was truly how I felt…and I needed to close out the meeting to get to my flight on time:

“Robert [name changed], how do you typically manage your life and relationships? Do you tend to lead with fear or with love? Depending on your inclination and preference, I believe you will find your answer. Clearly, you have numerous and valid concerns about the impact of moving forward with this search. But is this in alignment with your principles and management style?”

What I didn’t have the guts to continue saying was that I believed that fear-based decision making would lead to a perpetual cycle of negativity, doubt, suspicion, resentment, poor work culture, and headwinds on productivity. When you lead with love, you put trust in your instincts, your people, the process, and ultimately, that the outcome will be positive and as intended. When you hire the right people and if your entire organization is onboard and in alignment with this approach, great things will happen.

Robert didn’t answer my rhetorical question in the moment, although everyone knew the status quo was unacceptable and untenable. However, I did see the light in his eyes change and he smiled for the first time since the meeting started.

By the time I landed in Frankfurt to catch a connecting flight, I had received his answer: “Yes, let’s do this!” Eventually, I found my client a new SVP; a world-class executive and talent who brought so much more to the table than pure experience and qualifications. To this day, my candidate states it’s the best job he has ever had and is so grateful for the opportunity. And my client and the engineering org has prospered in the wake of his hiring, even in spite of pandemic circumstances.

I look back on that search with more satisfaction than most. It validated the romantic notion that love does make the world go around.

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